Collection of All Funny Email Fowards

Think positive

2009-02-28T10:58:00.000-08:00

This is nice - finding positive out of every negative - which we don't always manage to do.

I am thankful...

1. For the husband who snores all night, because he is at home asleep with me and not with someone else.

2. For my teenage daughter who is complaining about doing dishes, because that means she is at home & not on the streets.

3. For the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed.

4. For the mess to clean after a party because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.

5. For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.

6. For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

7. For a floor that needs mopping, and windows that need cleaning because it means I have a home.

8. For all the complaining I hear about the government because it means that we have freedom of speech.

9. For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.

10. For the noise I have to bear from my neighbours because it means that I can hear.

11. For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.

12. For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard.

13. For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am still alive.

Aisa apna husband ho

2009-02-27T10:53:00.000-08:00

Aisa apna husband ho
6' - 6'2" jiski height ho
Jeans dheeli magar body tight ho
biwi ke har nakhre uthaye, itna mizaaj uska light ho
husband apna aisa bright ho.
uff tak na kare itna quiet ho
dinner banaye wo jab bhi romantic night ho
shopping kar ke jab bhi aoon, bole begum tum kitni nice ho
husband apna aisa bright ho.

mujhey rani bana kar rakhe, to phir zindagi delight ho
saas sasur ke samne kahe, jaan tum hamesha right ho
hamesha jo haar maan jaye jab bhi koi fight ho
husband apna aisa bright ho.

jahan chahoon jaoon, jo chahey karoon, kuch is tarah ki life ho
har doosre week ghoomne phirne ki flight ho
aisa ho jaye to mein udoon aasmaan mei, jaise ke koi kite ho
husband apna aisa bright ho !!!

KNOW your Value

2009-02-26T10:49:00.000-08:00

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupee 500 note.

In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?"

Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you

but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the note up.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and
started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all
crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not
decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt
by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as
though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose
your value.

You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

" VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED "

Do you know who is in the highest position in the World

2009-02-25T10:35:00.000-08:00

Do you know who is in the highest position in the World?

President George Bush?

NO!

Pres Elect Barack Obama?

NO!

UN Secretary General?

NO

Pope Benedict?

NO!

Wonder No Longer...

Babu Sassi, a fearless young man from southern India is the cult hero of Dubai's army of construction workers.

Known as the "Indian on the top of the world", Babu is the crane operator at the world's tallest building , the 819-meter Burj Dubai. His office, the cramped crane cab perched on top of the Burj, is also his home. Apparently it takes too long to come down to the ground each day to make it worthwhile. When the building is completed, its elevators will be the world's fastest.

Stories about his daily dalliance with death are discussed in revered terms by Dubai's workers. Some say he has been up there for more than a year, others whisper that he's paid 30,000 dirhams ($8,168) a month compared with the average wage of 800 dirhams a month. All agree he's worth it.

It's called Mindset

2009-02-24T10:29:00.000-08:00

As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free." My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? So make an attempt to grow further.... Why shouldn't we try it again?

"YOUR ATTEMPT MAY FAIL, BUT NEVER FAIL TO MAKE AN ATTEMPT."

Dard Bhari Shayari

2009-02-23T10:22:00.000-08:00

Aaj To Hum Maut Ki Dua Kar Ke Roye Hain
Dobara Aaj Khuda Se Gila Kar Ke Roye Hain
Kyon Na Likh Saka Tu Us Ko Taqdeer Mein Meri
Yeh Aik Khayal Soch Kar Phir Hum Roye Hain.

Sapne Ki Tarah Aakar Chale Gaye
Gamo Ki Neend Sulakar Chale Gaye
Kis Bhool Ki Saza Di Humko??
Pehle Hasaya Aur Fir Rulakar Chale Gaye.

Hum ko to muskranay ki Aadat si hai
Ansoon ko Chupanay ki Aadat si hai
Duwa na hi Dawa Kaam kerti Hai hum per..
Ab to Zakhm Khanay ki Aadat si Hai..

Paane se khone ka maza aur hai
Bandh aankhon main rone ka maza aur hai
Aansoo bane lafz aur lafz bane ghazal
aur uss ghazal main tere hone ka maza aur hai.

12 things about you

2009-02-22T11:03:00.000-08:00

1. Someone in this world Loves you, in some way.

2. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

3. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

4. You mean the world to someone.

5. Without you , someone may not be living.

6. You are special and unique, in your own way.

7. Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.

8. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

9. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.

10. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.

11.Always remember complements you received, forget about the rude remarks..

12.Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel much better when they know.

Funny Divorce Letter

2009-02-22T10:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that
I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years
and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that
you had quit your job today and
that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't
even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,
cooked your favorite meal,
and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers
later that night.
You came home, nibbled at your food
for two minutes, and went straight to sleep
after watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't want sex anymore or anything.
Either you're cheating on me
or you don't love me.
Whichever is the case....I'm gone.

Signed,
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me.
Your sister and I are moving away
to West Virginia together. Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more enjoyable
than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married
for seven years, although a 'good man'
is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant
whining and griping.
It's just too bad it doesn't work.

Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut
last week.....and actually the first thing
that came to my mind was
"You look just like a girl"
but my mother raised me not to say anything
at all if you can't say anything nice.
And when you cooked my favorite meal,
you must have gotten me confused with my
SISTER, because I stopped eating pork
seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had
those new silk boxers on because
the price tag was still on them.
I prayed that it was just a coincidence
that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars
from me that morning and your silk
boxers were $49.99...

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that
we could work it out.
So when I discovered that I had hit the
lotto for twenty million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii.
But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life
you've always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote,
you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed: Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this
but
my sister 'Carla'...was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem for you.

I believe

2009-02-14T15:29:00.000-08:00

I believe-
that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I believe-
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every
once in a while and you must forgive
them for that.

I believe-
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I believe-
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I believe-
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I believe-
that you should always leave loved ones
with loving words. It may be the last
time you see them.

I believe-
that you can keep going
long after you can't.

I believe-
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I believe-
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.

I believe-
that regardless of how hot and
steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had
better be something else to take
its place.

I believe-
that heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I believe-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe-
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.

I believe-
that sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe-
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me
the right to be cruel.

I believe-
that just because someone doesn't love
you the way you want them to doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe-
that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe-
that it isn't always enough to be
forgiven by others. Sometimes you
have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe-
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe-
that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.

I believe-
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a
secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe-
that two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different.

I believe-
that your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe-
that even when you think you have no more
to give, when a friend cries out to you
you will find the strength to help.

I believe-
that credentials on the wall do not make
you a decent human being.

I believe-
that the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

Be yourself

2009-02-13T15:20:00.000-08:00

* Be understanding to your perceived enemies. Be loyal to your friends.

* Be strong enough to face the world each day.

* Be weak enough to know you cannot do everything alone.

* Be generous to those who need your help.

* Be frugal with that you need yourself.

* Be wise enough to know that you do not know everything.

* Be foolish enough to believe in miracles.

* Be willing to share your joys.

* Be willing to share the sorrows of others.

* Be a leader when you see a path others have missed.

* Be a follower when you are shrouded by the mists of uncertainty.

* Be first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds.

* Be last to criticize a colleague who fails.

* Be sure where your next step will fall, so that you will not tumble.

* Be sure of your final destination, in case you are going the wrong way.

* Be loving to those who love you.

* Be loving to those who do not love you; they may change.

* Above all, Be yourself.

TEN Things You Probably Didn't Know About The Internet

2009-02-12T15:14:00.000-08:00

You are probably using the Internet on a day to day basis, at work as well as at home.
With this in mind – how much do you know about the Internet?
Regardless if you know much or nothing at all are we quite sure that you won't know the following facts.

Here are TEN fun and totally useless facts that you probably did not know about the Internet:

1. The phrase World Wide Web was coined by Tim Berners-Lee in 1990.

2. The first ever bought domain name was symbolics.com – not much to look at today, we might add.

3. The most expensive domain name ever is sex.com that got sold for about $11 million – the type in traffic alone apparently makes it worth its price.

4. In 2008 were there 215 million households with online access in the U.S.
Which corresponds to 71.4% of the U.S population.

5. Iceland is the country with the most Internet users per capita: 86% of the population.

6. There are still around 18 countries in the world that do not have any Internet connection.

7. Google has about 3,000 employees all over the world and they go under the name "Googlers".
The Google headquarters is called the Googleplex.
Brain-washing, anyone?

8. The Martini was the most popular cocktail to search for on Google in 2008.

9. Each month the average Internet surfer visits 59 domains, views 1,050 web pages and spends 25 hours doing all of this.

10. "Google" has been searched on Google.com 2.7 billion times.

Cool Facts about Human Body

2009-02-11T15:10:00.000-08:00

-Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.

-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.

-You use 200 muscles to take one step.

-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.

-A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.

-A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.

-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.

-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.

-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

-At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.

-There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.

-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.

-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.

-Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

At this very moment I know well you are putting this last fact to the test...

Thought of sharing

2009-02-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

Two men went fishing. One was an experienced fisherman, the other wasn't. Every time the experienced fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice chest to keep it fresh. Whenever the inexperienced fisherman caught a big fish, he threw it back.

The experienced fisherman watched this go on all day and finally got tired of seeing the man waste good fish. "Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?" he asked.

The inexperienced fisherman replied, "I only have a small frying pan."

Sometimes, like that fisherman, we throw back the big plans, big dreams, big jobs, big opportunities that God gives us. Our faith is too small.

We laugh at that fisherman who didn't figure out that all he needed was a bigger frying pan, yet how ready are we to increase the size of our faith?

Whether it's a problem or a possibility, God will never give you anything bigger than you can handle. That means we can confidently walk into anything God brings our way.

REMEMBER:

Stop telling God you've got big problems.
Tell your problems you've got a BIG GOD!

~possibly by Wayne Rice~

Tum bin Ghazal

2009-02-09T14:56:00.000-08:00

Tum bin jena esa hai

Zehar ko pene jesa hai

Tum se bichar ke zinda rehna,

Hum se pucho kesa hai.

Mera tum ko takty rehna,

Chand ko takne jesa hai.

Tera hans ke batain karma,

Khilte pholon jesa hai.

Badal tere pyaar ka hamdam,

Aaj to khul ke barsa hai.

Chand ki nazrein jhuk jati hain,

Yaar mera to esa hai. . .

Dil Hi Kya Jo tere Milne Ki Dua Na kare

2009-02-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

Woh dil hi kya jo tere milne ki
dua na kare
Main tujh ko bhool ke zinda rahoon
khuda na kare

Rahe ga pyaar tere saath
zindagi ban kar
yeh aur baat meri
zindagi wafa na kare

Yeh theek hai nahi marta koi
judaii mein
khuda kisi ko kisi se
magar juda na kare

Agar wafa pe bharoosa rahe
na duniya ko
tu koi shakhs muhabbat ke
husla na kare

Suna hai uss ko muhabbat
duaein deti hai
jo dil pe chut khaye
magar gila na kare

Bujha diya hai naseeboon ne
mere pyaar ka chand
koi diya meri palkoon pe
ab jala na kare

Zamana dekh chuka hai
parakh chuka hai usse,
"Qateel" jaan se jaye magar
iltja na kare..!

For IT people

2009-02-05T17:11:00.000-08:00

If you have been in IT industry too long these are your symptoms:

1.) You use phrases like "No issues" and "Value addition" in everyday parlance. For e.g. When talking about your doodhwalla, You say, "His milk does zero value addition to my health but he is the only guy around so no issues"

2.) Your prime source of entertainment is the forwards send to You by friends whose faces You cant remember.

3.) You drink more tea or coffee than water.

4.) You keep trying to shut down Your home computer by pressing Ctrl+Alt+ Del (used to lock office comps)

5.) When Your mobile rings at home, You rush outside to receive thecall.

6.) When You make calls at home, You accidentally dial "0"to get an outside line.

7.) You haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years.

8.) Your last crush was a girl in HR, Your current crush is the new girl in HR and all Your crushes in the future willbe girls in HR.

9.) You spend the entire day reading forwards, smoking cigarettes, drinking tea/coffee and playing T.T. and then complain about the late working hours.

10.) Your important 'meetings' usually comprise two or three people max, including yourself.

11) You secretly prepare for CAT only to find Your PL sitting behind you at the exam.

13.) You keep pressing Ctrl+Enter wondering why your gmail is not going.

14.) You email Your mate who works at the desk next to U.

15.) As You read this list, You r thinking of sending it to Your friends who are also in IT.

16.)You r too busy to notice there was no line no. 12

17.)You r not sure so You scroll back check it .

18.)And now You r smiling!!!!

Think differently and positively

2009-02-04T05:57:00.000-08:00

A blind boy sat on the steps of
a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I
am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a
few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the
sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that
everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A
lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the
man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized
his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this
morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote
the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."

What he had written was: "Today
is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."

Do you think the first sign and
the second sign were saying the same thing?

Of course both signs told people
the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The
second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should
we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful
for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

Invite others towards good with
wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives
you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.
Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare
for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Great men say,

"Life has to be
an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and
developing goodness"

Its Attitude That Matters

2009-02-03T16:36:00.000-08:00

Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya. Tabhi usane dekha ek sher uskii taraf aa raha hai. Kutte ki saans sookh gayi. "Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!" usne socha. Phir usne saamane kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi dekhi. Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith gaya aur ek sookhi hadii ko choosane laga aur zor zor se bolne laga, "wah! Sher ko khaane ka maza hi kuchh aur hai. Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!" Aur usne zor se dakaar mara. Is bar sher sakate mein aa gayaa. Usne socha "ye kutta to sher ka shikar karta hai! Jaan bacha kara bhago!" Aur sher wahan se champat ho gaya.

Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh raha tha. Usne socha yeh mauka achha hai sher ko sari kahani bata deta hoon – sher se dosti ho jayegi aur usase zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka khatra dur ho jayega. Woh phataphat sher ke pichhe bhaga. Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate hue dekh liya aur samajh gaya ki koi locha hai. Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab bata diya ki kaise kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai. Sher zor se dahada, "chal mere sath abhi uski leela kahatam karta hu" aur Bandar ko apani peeth par baitha kar sher kutte ki taraf lapka.

Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek bar phir uskii taraf peeth karke baith gaya aur zor zor se bolne laga, "Is Bandar ko bheje ek ghanta ho gaya saala ek sher phaans kar nahi la sakta!"

Moral from a Corporate Story

2009-02-02T12:54:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time the government with Ruling Party XYZ.. had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

Ruling Party XYZ Said.. - "Someone may steal from it at night."

So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..

- "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"

So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..,

- "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"

So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.. ,

- "How are these people going to get paid?"

So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..,

- "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"

So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..,

- "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."

So they lay off the night watchman.

Moral of the story:
"Current Situation In IT industries"

Shortcuts to help you move faster in Microsoft Outlook

2009-02-01T12:49:00.000-08:00

Here are a list of shortcuts to help you move faster in Microsoft Outlook:

Alt + . (period) Open the Address Book with the To field selected

Alt + A Open the Action drop-down menu

Alt + B Open the Address Book with the BCC field selected

Alt + C Select message recipients for CC field

Alt + D Switch to Daily calendar view

Alt + E Open the Edit drop-down menu

Alt + F Open the File drop-down menu

Alt + G Open the Go drop-down menu

Alt + H Open the Help drop-down menu

Alt + I Open the Find tool bar / Open the Insert
drop-down menu

Alt + J Move to the Subject field

Alt + K Check names in the To, CC, or BCC field against the Address Book (cursor must be in the corresponding message header field)

Alt + L Reply All

Alt + M Switch to Monthly calendar view

Alt + N Open the Accounts drop-down menu

Alt + O Open the Format drop-down menu / Switch to Today calendar view

Alt + P Open the Message Options dialog box

Alt + R Reply / Switch to Work Week Calendar view

Alt + S Send

Alt + T Open the Tools drop-down menu

Alt + V Open the View drop-down menu

Alt + W Forward an item / Switch to Weekly calendar view

Alt + Y Switch to Daily calendar view

Ctrl + 1 Go to Mail

Ctrl + 2 Go to Calendar

Ctrl + 3 Go to Contacts

Ctrl + 4 Go to Tasks

Ctrl + 5 Go to Notes

Ctrl + 6 Go to Folder List

Ctrl + 7 Go to Shortcuts

Ctrl + 8 Go to Journal

Ctrl + A Select all

Ctrl + B Bold when editing a rich text message

Ctrl + C Copy

Ctrl + D Delete an item (message, task, contact, etc.)

Ctrl + E Activate the Find drop-down menu / Center Align when editing a rich text message

Ctrl + F Forward

Ctrl + J Open a new Journal Entry from the selected item (message, task, contact, etc.)

Ctrl + K Check names in the To, CC, or BCC field against the Address Book (cursor must be in the corresponding message header field)

Ctrl + M Send/Receive all

Ctrl + O Open

Ctrl + P Print

Ctrl + Q Mark the selected message Read

Ctrl + R Reply

Ctrl + S Save a draft message

Ctrl + T Tab

Ctrl + U Mark the selected message Unread

Ctrl + V Paste

Ctrl + X Cut

Ctrl + Y Go to Folder

Ctrl + Z Undo

Ctrl + Backspace Delete the previous word

Ctrl + End Move to the end

Ctrl + Home Move to the beginning

Ctrl + Shift + A Open a new Appointment

Ctrl + Shift + B Open the Address Book

Ctrl + Shift + C Create a new Contact

Ctrl + Shift + E Open a new folder

Ctrl + Shift + F Open the Advanced Find window

Ctrl + Shift + G Flag message for follow up

Ctrl + Shift + J Open a new Journal Entry

Ctrl + Shift + K Open a new Task

Ctrl + Shift + L Open a new Distribution List

Ctrl + Shift + M Open a new Message

Ctrl + Shift + N Open a new Note

Ctrl + Shift + O Switch to the Outbox

Ctrl + Shift + P Open the New Search Folder window

Ctrl + Shift + Q Open a new Meeting Request

Ctrl + Shift + R Reply All

Ctrl + Shift + S Open a new Discussion

Ctrl + Shift + U Open a new Task Request

Ctrl + Shift + Y Copy a Folder

Shift + Tab Select the previous message header button or field

F1 Open Outlook Help

F3 Activate the Find tool bar

F4 Open the Find window

F7 Spell check

F9 Send and receive all

F10 Select File from the Outlook tool bar button

F11 Activate the “Find a contact” dialog box

F12 Save As

Alt + F4 Close the active window

Friendship vs Love

2009-01-31T11:50:00.000-08:00

Friendship is a quiet walk in the park with the one you trust.
Love is when you feel like you are the only two around.

Friendship is when they gaze into your eyes and you know they care.
Love is when they gaze into your eyes and it warms your heart.

Friendship is being close even when you are far apart.
Love is when you can still feel their hand on your heart when they are not near.

Friendship is hoping that they experience the very best.
Love is when you bring them the very best.

Friendship occupies your mind.
Love occupies your soul.

Friendship is knowing that you will always try to be there when in need.
Love is when you will give up everything to be at their side.

Friendship is warm smile in the winter.
Love is a warming touch that sends a pulse through your heart.

Friendship can survive without love.
Love cannot live without friendship.

Strength of a Man and Beauty of a Woman

2009-01-28T14:18:00.000-08:00

Strength of a Man

The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders.
It is seen in the width of his arms that encircle you.
The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It is in the gentle words he whispers.
The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It is how good a buddy he is with his kids.
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It is in how respected he is at home.
The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits..
It is in how tender he touches.
The strength of a man isn't how many women he's Loved by.
It is in can he be true to one woman.
The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.
It is in the burdens he can understand and overcome.

Beauty of a Woman

The beauty of a woman
Is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries,
Or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman
Must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman
Is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman
Is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
The beauty of a woman
With passing years-only grows.

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,
but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man

Love Happens Only Once....
Rest Is Just Life...

Tu Meri Dost Hain-Lyrics of Yuvraaj

2009-01-27T14:32:00.000-08:00

Song : Tu Meri Dost Hain
Music : A R Rahman
Lyrics : Gulzar
Singers : Benny Dayal & Shreya Ghoshal

Aaja Main Hawaon Pe Bithake Le Chalun
Tu Hi Toh, Tu Hi Toh Meri Doost Hain
Aaja Main Khalaon Mein Uthake Le Chalun
Tu Hi Toh Meri Doost Hain
Awaaz Ka Dariya Hoon, Behta Hoon Main Nili Raaton Mein
Main Jaagta Rehta Hoon, Neend Bhari Jheel Si Aankhon Mein
Awaaz Hoon Mainâ€¦
Aaja Main Hawaon Pe Bithake Le Chaloon
Tu Hi Toh, Tu Hi Toh Meri Doost Hain
Aaja Main Khalaon Mein Uthake Le Chaloon
Tu Hi Toh Meri Doost Hain
Raat Mein Chandni Kabhi, Aisi Gungunati Hain
Sunn Zara Lagta Hain Tumse, Awaaz Milati Hain
Main Khayalon Ki Mehek Hoon, Gungunate Hain Saaz Par
Ho Sake Toh Milale, Awaaz Ku Le Saaz Par..
Aaja Main Hawaon Pe Bithake Le Chalun
Tu Hi Toh Meri Doost Hain
Aaja Main Khalaon Mein Uthake Le Chaloon
Tu Hi Toh Meri Doost Hain
Awaaz Ka Dariya Hoon, Behta Hoon Main Nili Raaton Mein
Main Jaagta Rehta Hoon, Neend Bhari Jheel Si Aankhon Mein
Awaaz Hoon Mainâ€¦
O Kabhi Kehta Hai Saahil, Jahan Shaam Utarti Hain
Kehte Hain Samunder Se, Ek Pari Gujarti Hain
Woh Raat Ki Rani Hain, Sargam Par Chalti Hain
Re Sa Re Sa Re Sa, Sa Re Sa Re Sa Re
Aaja Main Hawaon Pe Bithake Le Chaloon
Tu Hi Toh, Tu Hi Toh Mera Doost Hain
Aaja Main Khalaon Mein Uthake Le Chaloon
Tu Hi Toh Mera Doost Hain
Awaaz Ka Dariya Hoon, Behti Hoon Mein Nilli Raaton Mein
Main Jagti Rehti Hoon, Neend Bhari Jheel Si Aankhon Mein
Awaaz Hoon Mainâ€¦...
Awaaz Hoon Mainâ€¦...

Ye Hai INDIA Meri Jaan-Making INDIA proud

2009-01-26T10:21:00.000-08:00

We know that we celebrate Republic Day on January 26. But sometimes, we may forget why.

It is the birthday of the supreme law of our nation, the Constitution of India, which was passed by the Constituent Assembly on January 26, 1949, and came into effect on January 26, 1950. It contains our self-image, our world view and our intentions towards one another and non-Indian people.

It's profoundly moving to read the Preamble and the Articles that detail our fundamental rights and duties and the directive principles of our nationhood. Though salted by now in scripture, I find that my heart leaps with a special thrill each time I happen to read something in the Constitution.

I truly rate it as all the scripture we ever need, for leading our lives with goodwill and a sound work ethic. Essentially, the Constitution seems to be about space and responsibility.

We are meant to give each other plenty of space and ensure a fair availability of skillsets and life-enabling facilities. Beyond that, there has to be room for individual merit.

The Constitution says we're to have physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual space, by which we are empowered to take a fair shot at making our lives happen. If I had to pick a mudra or coded hand sign to represent the Constitution, I'd do a Namaste.

A Namaste, says, "I salute the Me in You, which both spring from the One." We're acknowledging our connectedness as human beings and also our space in the vaster scheme of things.

The old ones sensed a greater Energy everywhere and in themselves, but couldn't get a fix on it. "Neti, neti, neti" (Not this, Not this, Not this,") they said in a process of elimination.

So what was 'It'? The Constitution does a good job of trying to answer that question. It gathers up much that is good and worth keeping in the history of thought and tells us what our lives as modern Indians should be like.

Making INDIA proud

Indians have made the country proud world-over having excelled as scientists, doctors, engineers, entrepreneurs and actors. India has a rich culture and a distinguished history, whose legacy stands tall even today. As a proud nation of a billion celebrates its 60th Republic Day, here's a look at what makes India so special...

Incredible India Inc - Indian entrepreneurs hold top positions in several multi-national companies. It's said that four out of the ten start-ups in the Silicon Valley are run by Indians. Indians are the richest Immigrant class in the US. Also, the number of companies listed in the Bombay Stock Exchange is more than 6000, second to only US's New York Stock exchange.

Fascinating film fraternity - Indian tinsel town is singing praises of A R Rahman, who has got a nod for the Oscars. And the movie 'Slumdog Millionaire' with world-class music, an Indian cast and based on an Indian theme, doing exceptionally well in the international circuit, it's time more Indian films to get the recognition they deserve. We are way ahead of Hollywood in the numbers game, with more that 800 movies being churned out each year in India.

Pretty 'desi' damsels - From Aishwarya Rai and Sushmita Sen to Lara Dutta, Diana Hayden, to runner up Parvathy Omanakuttan, Indian damsels have won six Miss World/Miss Universe beauty pageant titles in the last decade, way ahead of the rest of the world. Former Miss World and Bollywood actress, Aishwarya Rai's eyes have also been voted as the sexiest eyes in the World.

Peaceful yet prepared - For peace, we stand. In an eventful history, India's among the few in the World who have never invaded nor plundered the wealth of any other country. Always on the vigil, the current Indian army is the third-largest in the World with a strong contingent of 1.5 million.

Striking strides in sports - Indian sports persons have made the country proud on several occasions. Some recent laurels include Abhinav Bindra's gold at the Olympics, MS Dhoni's boys winning cricket's inaugural 20twenty World Cup and Vishwanathan Anand retaining his FIDE World Chess Champion title.

Marked in mathematics - The number zero, was perhaps, India's best ever gift to mathematics. And over the centuries, Indians have shone in many areas of research in mathematics. From Srinivasa Ramanujan to the human computer Shakuntala Devi, the list is endless.

Medical marvels - India's contribution to the field medicine dates back to the 6th century BC when saint Sushruta, compiled a book with his findings about medicines and their uses and methods for surgery. And over the last couple of decades, the alternate stream of medicine, Ayurveda, has become one of the most sought medical streams across the world.

Remarkable Indian Railways - From the proposed bullet trains, to the passenger and goods trains, the Indian Railways, is one massive network serving the nation. This makes the Indian Railways, which employs more than a million people, the largest employer in the world.

A nation in gold - Can you imagine an Indian wedding without the bride being decked up in all the gold ornaments? Indians consume a fifth of the world's total gold output and the percentage is increasing by the day.

Happy Republic Day

2009-01-25T13:43:00.000-08:00

26th January 1950 is one of the most important days in Indian history as it was on this day the constitution of India came into force and India became a truly sovereign state. In this day India became a totally republican unit. The country finally realized the dream of Mahatma Gandhi and the numerous freedom fighters who, fought for and sacrificed their lives for the Independence of their country. So, the 26th of January was decreed a national holiday and has been recognized and celebrated as the Republic Day of India, ever since.

Today, the Republic Day is celebrated with much enthusiasm all over the country and especially in the capital, New Delhi where the celebrations start with the Presidential to the nation. The beginning of the occasion is always a solemn reminder of the sacrifice of the martyrs who died for the country in the freedom movement and the succeeding wars for the defense of sovereignty of their country. Then, the President comes forward to award the medals of bravery to the people from the armed forces for their exceptional courage in the field and also the civilians, who have distinguished themselves by their different acts of valour in different situations.

To mark the importance of this occasion, every year a grand parade is held in the capital, from the Rajghat, along the Vijaypath. The different regiments of the army, the Navy and the Air force march past in all their finery and official decorations even the horses of the cavalry are attractively caparisoned to suit the occasion. The crÃ¨me of N.C.C cadets, selected from all over the country consider it an honour to participate in this event, as do the school children from various schools in the capital. They spend many days preparing for the event and no expense is spared to see that every detail is taken care of, from their practice for the drills, the essential props and their uniforms.

The parade is followed by a pageant of spectacular displays from the different states of the country. These moving exhibits depict scenes of activities of people in those states and the music and songs of that particular state accompany each display. Each display brings out the diversity and richness of the culture of India and the whole show lends a festive air to the occasion. The parade and the ensuing pageantry is telecast by the National Television and is watched by millions of viewers in every corner of the country.

The patriotic fervor of the people on this day brings the whole country together even in her essential diversity. Every part of the country is represented in occasion, which makes the Republic Day the most popular of all the national holidays of India.

How Indian mind works

2009-01-22T20:32:00.000-08:00

An Indian man walks into a bank in
New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business
for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank
will need some form of security for the loan,
so the Indian man hands over the keys
and documents of new Ferrari parked
on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the title and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers
all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian
for using a $250,000 Ferrari
as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then
drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Indian returns,
repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says,
"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away,
we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?

The Indian replies:

"Where else in New York City can I park my car
for two weeks for only $15.41
and expect it to be there when I return'"

Ah, the mind of the Indian...

This is why India is shining

Explanation of Virus

2009-01-21T11:34:00.000-08:00

WHAT IS A VIRUS?

1) Virus is a little program who's activity can destruct/destroy
some files and a computer system. If this program does not open, it's
inactive and could not or will not destroy anything.

WHAT IS A VIRUS-EMAIL?

2) The virus program is brought to you by an email as attachment. It
has a server itself (virus server). File virus attachments cannot go to
another email, such as an email was sent by user (netter), member,
moderator etc to be as their attachment. It must be brought to you by
email itself,that we called EMAIL Of VIRUS.

WHAT'S THEIR ADDRESS?

3) EMAIL OF VIRUS would be sent by any email address of any account,
that it found and cracked from some mailbox or address-book of other
person anywhere. So that why the email of virus looks like it was sent by our
friend, our member,our moderator etc..... even it is able to email a
virus by our own email address.

HOW TO SEE IS THAT A VIRUS ATTACHMENT?

4) To identification of virus attachment:
a). it has a small size ( <190KB )sometimes it will be upto 600 kb
b). it has extension file name such as below:
*.scr
*.clp
*.pif
*.bat
*.exe
*.com
*.txt
*.doc
*.lhz
*.rhz
and some time it's compressed by *.zip file.
Also by the fake name HotMovie.MPEG__________scr.
Actually the file is virus file with extension .scr

HOW TO SEE IS THAT AN EMAIL VIRUS?

5) You are would able to understand an email virus from their SUBJECT,
most of them contains an amazing statement or unusual word, such as
below:
Weah ^_^ :))
Hokki=)
Hi :)
ello!=))
Hello -:))
Hey, dude, it's me ^_^
access Mpeg
Re:your text
Re:Text message
Re:Msg reply
Re:Is that your document?
Re:Hot Movie(MPEG)
Re:Information...
Re;Important info
Re:This is your photos!:)
and more, and more...

If you received emails with the subject matter as above, you
should delete even with out opening.

NOTE:

Don't have words in your email subject which resembles a virus mail
Otherwise your email would be deleted by recipient[s].

BE AWARE it's dangerous.

*** If one of your file is infected by virus, it will change into
function of a virus and might infecte all files in your hard disk.

Mistakenly used words

2009-01-20T07:39:00.000-08:00

Maybe or May Be?

Maybe, the compound word, is an adverb meaning "perhaps" or "possibly."

May be is a verb phrase meaning "might be" or "could be."

Examples: Maybe I will go out tonight.

I may be going out tonight.

Moral or Morale?

Morale, accent on second syllable, is a noun meaning "a person's mental or emotional state."

Moral, accent on first syllable, is either a noun meaning "the lesson from a story" or an adjective meaning "virtuous, behaving according to high standards."

Examples: Team morale rose after the no-hitter.

The moral of the story is "Never tell a lie."

She made a point with her moral and ethical actions.

Using Of

Do not use of to replace the verb have.

See Could Of or Could Have? for examples.

The word of following the prepositions outside, inside, off, or atop is nonstandard. Simply drop the word of.

Incorrect: He looked inside of the box.

Correct: He looked inside the box.

Official or Officious?

Official is far more common. It usually is an adjective meaning "authorized." As a noun, it means a person with authority, usually one who has authority to make decisions or decide matters between two parties.

Officious means "meddling in matters not one's concern."

Orient or Orientate?

The word orient as a noun means "east." It may be capitalized when referring to the geographical location of the Far East .

Example: Hong Kong is located in the Orient.

Orient as a verb means to "find direction" or "give direction." The noun form of this kind of orienting is orientation.

Sometimes people in their speech will form an imagined verb from orientation and say orientate. At best, orientate is a back-formation used humorously to make the speaker sound pompous. The correct word is the verb orient.

Incorrect: Melanie is helping me get orientated to the new job.

Correct: Melanie is helping me get oriented to the new job.

Orientate is more widely accepted in the U.K. than in the U.S.A. , but it should be avoided in any formal or standard writing.

Perimeter or Parameter?

These two words are often confused, especially parameter for perimeter.

Perimeter, pronounced with a short i in the second syllable, means "the border or line around an object, especially a two-dimensional geometric figure." By extension, it can refer to the border of any area or any kind of limit.

Parameter, pronounced with a short a in the second syllable, is a specific mathematical or physical term which means "a variable which has the same value in more than one equation." Unfortunately, people will often use the word parameter when they mean "boundary" or "limitation," because it sounds more scientific or technical.

Sociologist Thomas Sowell writes: "One of the incidental examples of 'scientific' puffery is the widespread use of the term 'parameters' to mean boundaries, rather than its actual meaning in mathematical equations. What are usually called 'parameters' in discussions of social policies could more accurately be called perimeters. But of course that would not foster the illusion of 'science.'"

12 Ways to Know That You Love Someone

2009-01-17T00:15:00.000-08:00

TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.

ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.

TEN:
You don't feel Ok when he/she is far away.

NINE:
You smile when you hear his/her voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you. You see only him/her.

SIX:
He/She is everything you want to think.

FIVE:
You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her.

FOUR:
You would do anything to see him/her.

THREE:
While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.

TWO:
You've been so busy thinking of that person that you didn't notice that number 7 is missing.

ONE:
You are going to check above if that's true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.

NOW MAKE A WISH! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST.......

Ideal ‘ORKUT’ profile of a Software Engineer

2009-01-08T00:53:00.000-08:00

About me: I think I am changing the world, but I am not.
I think I am contributing to the Indian economy,
but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not.
I think I hate all people who made me earn my
engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living,
but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone
to make me live !! Ok…I won't be funny anymore. I am a
cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life
(For all those who know me–> "Juststop laughing!!")

Relationship status : what?

Birthday : The day my PL is about to fire me.

Age : 10111
1111
111

Here for: web browsing in company hours.

Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!!)

Ethnicity : Programmer.

Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101

Religion: I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.

Political view : the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!

Humor : weekly….

Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag

Smoking: The second greatest pleasure on the earth.

Drinking : The first is this.

Pets: Yeah, my PL looks like a dog. :-)

Living: Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software
engineer? Believe me, I am living!!

Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)

Webpage: naukri.com, jobsahead.com – Isn't it Ultimate???

Passions: searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking
for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future.

Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.

Activities: Are you crazy?

Books: "How to loseweight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract a girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored

Music: Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing.

Tv shows : can't afford one.

Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 meteres of my cubicle

PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY

2009-01-07T09:48:00.000-08:00

Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it.

He held it up for all to see & asked the students "How much do you think

this glass weighs?"

'50gms!' .... '100gms!' .....'125gms' ...the students answered.

"I really don't know unless I weigh it," said the professor, "but, my

question is:

What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?"

'Nothing' c..the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the

professor asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the student

"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"

"Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis

& have to go to hospital for sure!"

c.. ventured another student & all the students laughed

"Very good.

But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?"

asked the professor.

'No' c. Was the answer.

"Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?"

The students were puzzled.

"What should I do now to come out of pain?" asked professor again.

"Put the glass down!" said one of the students

"Exactly!" said the professor.

Life's problems are something like this.

Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.

Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able

to do anything.

It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life, But

EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to 'PUT THEM DOWN' at the end of every day before

You go to sleep.

That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong &

can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

So, when you leave office today,

Remember friend to

'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY! '

My Loving Wife

2009-01-07T09:47:00.000-08:00

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he
decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally Typed
wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the
e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home
from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail,
expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed
into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer
screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Reached

Date: 8th Jan 2009

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now,
and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just
reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been
prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you
then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

Your Loving Husband.

THE FUNNIES ON LIFE

2009-01-06T11:12:00.000-08:00

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.

**********

Marriage is a threering circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

**********

For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake.

**********

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage.

**********

Why were hurricanes usually named after women? Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car

**********

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

**********

Reason Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: All the DNA is the same.

**********

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the checkout line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?" Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?

**********

Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45minute wait for a table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said. "We may not have 45 minutes." They were seated immediately.

**********

The reason congressmen try so hard to get reelected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.

**********

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down he aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.

As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

**********

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

**********

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man." Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives." Al said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

**********

Smith climbs to the top of Mt.Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord... "God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A minute."

Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A penny."

Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?" The Lord replies, "In a minute."

**********

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy What do you think I should do?"

"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

**********

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, dear," he said. "Of course, John," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob." "But I thought you hated Bob," she said. With his last breath John said, "I do!"

**********

A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" The man said yes and the Rabbi! replied, "Take the poison."

**********

Salary hike in this month as u except

2009-01-06T10:17:00.000-08:00

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an
increase in his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$ ,
In thi$ life, we all need $omething mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Jack $hah

The next day, the employee recieved this
letter of reply:

Dear Jack,
NOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspapers are saying that the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections, things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

FROM
NOrman Jack

Your Horse Called Up

2008-12-30T14:49:00.000-08:00

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" the man asked.

The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Julie on it that I found in your pants pocket".

The man then said "When I was at the races last week Julie was the name of the horse I bet on"

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on thehead with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

wife replied. "Your horse called up !!!!"

Upgrade Problems from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0

2008-12-29T09:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User (KEEP READING)

______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best Wishes,
Tech Support

Great Sayings On Marriage & Wife

2008-12-28T22:26:00.000-08:00

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

*********

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

*********

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

*********

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

*********

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

*********

The great question.... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want?

*********

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

*********

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

*********

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

*********

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

*********

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

*********

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

*********

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

*********

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

*********

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

*********

Life Is Too Short To Waste Time Hating Anyone

2008-12-26T12:58:00.000-08:00

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert during some point of the journey they had an Argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it." LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE!!! They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Do not value the THINGS you have in your life. But value WHO you have in your life!

" Happiness is not something you find, it's something you create…"

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling...
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

Funny English :-)

2008-12-25T22:40:00.000-08:00

Some are really funny... some are stupid... don't blame me if u hate it...

Killing English ……

Principal to student...' I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette...? '

*********************************************************************

Class teacher once said : ' pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!'

*******************************************

once hindi teacher said....'i'm going out of the world to america..'

*******************************************

'..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..'

*******************************************

dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

*******************************************

it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

' why is fan not oning' (ing form of on)

*******************************************

teacher in a furious mood...

write down ur name and father of ur name!!

*******************************************

'shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college'

*******************************************

My manager started like this

'Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids'

*******************************************

'I'll illustrate what i have in my mind' said the professor and erased the board

*******************************************

'will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF'

****************************** *************

LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ,' IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE'

*******************************************

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...

'My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter'

*******************************************

Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

*******************************************

'why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!'

*******************************************

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

'I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

********************************************

Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

'Keep quiet, the principal has passed away' _

Christmas Holiday Facts

2008-12-25T11:38:00.000-08:00

There's no other holiday like Christmas. Many of us celebrate the holidays without knowing how our traditions got started or what they signify. Christmas is much more fun when you know some facts behind the holiday.

Most of these facts are very interesting and reminds us that there is quite a bit of history behind our family customs. Try using the Christmas Holiday Facts to make your own Christmas quiz for holiday parties and add a unique touch with personal favorites.

Christmas Holiday Facts: (World Amazing Facts)

* The word Christmas is Old English, a contraction of Christ's Mass.

* The first president to decorate the white house Christmas tree in the United States was Franklin Pierce.

* Electric lights for trees were first used in 1895.

* The first Christmas cards were vintage and invented in 1843, the Victorian Era

* "It's a Wonderful Life" appears on TV more often than any other holiday movie.

* "Rudolph" was actually created by Montgomery Ward in the late 1930's for a holiday promotion. The rest is history.

* "The Nutcracker" is the most famous Christmas ballet.

* "Jingle Bells" was first written for Thanksgiving and then became one of the most popular Christmas songs.

* If you received all of the gifts in the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas", you would receive 364 presents.

* The poinsettia plant was brought into the United States from Mexico by Joel Poinsett in the early 1800's.

* Holly berries are poisonous.

* Contrary to common belief, poinsettia plants are non-toxic.

* In 1843, "A Christmas Carol" was written by Charles Dickens in just six weeks.

* The first state to recognize the Christmas holiday officially was Alabama

* Christmas became a national holiday in America on June, 26, 1870.

* Coca Cola was the first beverage company to use Santa for a winter promotion.

* An angel told Mary she was going to have a baby.

* Clearing up a common misconception, in Greek, X means Christ. That is where the word "X-Mas" comes from. Not because someone took the "Christ" out of Christmas.

* Traditionally, Christmas trees are taken down after Epiphany.

* More diamonds are sold around Christmas than any other time of the year.

* In Mexico, wearing red underwear on New Year's Eve is said to bring new love in the upcoming year.

God & Man

2008-12-24T23:21:00.000-08:00

A man having no wife, no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God.

God happy with his prayers, grants him only ONE wish!

Man: "I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child's hands in our new home!"

God: Damn!!! I still have a lot to learn from these humans.

Moral of the story:- "Compile all requirements and present in one line rather than boring the appraiser for a long time".

Software Engineer Husband & His Wife

2008-12-24T03:37:00.000-08:00

Software engineer and his wife conversation

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where`s your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - I will go to my dad`s house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer

Sardar Kidnap story

2008-12-23T07:17:00.000-08:00

This is terrific........................

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.

In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a
kid and hold him for

ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him
behind a tree,

and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying:

"I've kidnapped your kid.

Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag

and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side
of the city

playground".

Signed: "A Sardarji".

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and
sent him home to

show it to his parents… JJ

The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure
enough a paper bag was

kept beneath the mango tree.The boy was sitting next
to the bag.

Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash
with a note saying:

"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji?

Take the money, and Please leave my son."

Signed: Another Sardarji… JJJJ

Great Indian Mom

2008-12-21T10:38:00.000-08:00

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner...who lives with a girl roommate Sunita.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while
watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's
thoughts, Kumar volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates.'

About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar.

You don't suppose she took it, do you?' Kumar said: "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure.'

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar. But the fact remains
that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read,

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was
sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now under the pillow...

Love,
Mom.

Lesson of the day: Don't Lie to Your Mother.... especially if she is Indian

Discoveries

2008-12-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up .

Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip .

Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.

Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage .

Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it

2008-12-06T11:16:00.000-08:00

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,

Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options

(A) 10 marks,

(b) 5marks and

(c) 3 marks.

**********

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) of love

(b) you couldn't control seeing me

(c) really ... Am I doing it?

**********

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:

(a) you always like to see me smiling

(b) you are testing whether I like jokes

(c) you are attracted by my smile

**********

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:

(a) you are so coy to sing before me

(b) my presence influenced you

(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

**********

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:

(a) you felt ashamed

(b) you felt uneasy

(c) you don't know

**********

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:

(a) you enjoyed my disappointment

(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing

(c) you don't know

**********

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...

(a) you were waiting for me

(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus

(c) that bus was crowded

**********

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:

(a) I am going to be your groom

(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me

(c) just you felt like introducing me to them

**********

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:

(a) to fulfill my wish

(b) you like roses

(c) by chance you got a rose

**********

9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:

(a) you want to pray along with me

(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday

(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.

**********

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.

If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.

Eagerly awaiting your reply..

Love, Aakash

************ *********

Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........

Aakash ,

Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

**********

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo. You poked your nose inside..... Right ?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

6) Should I not wait for my best friend ( Anjali ) at the bus stand?

(a)Yes (b) No

**********

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple . Do you know ?

(a) Yes (b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.

Hope everything is clear to you .

**********

Bill Gates Ramayana

2008-12-06T10:50:00.000-08:00

When Bill Gates was in India, he had a chance 2 listen,

Ramayana from Atal Behari Vajpayee. After returning 2

US he wrote it in his personal Diary. A Tabloid in US

got a copy of his writings.These are excerpts from his

diary.

Ramayana by Bill Gates.

LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya,there ruled a

PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he EXECUTED a great

sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens gave an

OUTPUT of four SUNs--RAM, LSIman,BUG-rat and SED-

rughana. RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent

MEMORY. His brothers,however, were only PERIPHERAL

ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess

'C'ta. 12years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTAL

RAM as his successor. However, Queen CIE/CAE

(Kayegayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat

for a life saving HELP COMMAND, took this opportunity

at the instigation of her BIOSed maid (a real

plotter), and insisted that her son Bug-rat be

INSTALLED and that RAM be BOOTED to the forest for 14

years. At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE

passed thru DOS-rat and, he collapsed,power-less. RAM

agreed to LOG INTO forest and 'C'ta insisted to LOGIN

with him. LSI-man was also resolved on LOGGING IN with

his brother. The forest was the dwelling of

SPARCnakha, the TRANSISTOR of RAW-van,PROCESSOR of LAN- ka.

Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that he

marry her. RAM, politely declined. Perceiving 'C'ta to

be the SOURCE CODE of her distress, she hastened to

kill her. Weeping,SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where

RAW-van, moved by TRANSISTOR's plight,approached his

uncle MAR-icha. MAR-icha REPROGRAMED himself into the

form of a golden stag and drew RAM deep into forest.

Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who,with

his last breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man in

RAM's voice.Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND,'C'ta

urged LSI-man to his brother's aid. Catching the

opportunity,RAW-van DELINKED 'C'ta from her LIBRAR and

changed her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.

-----------------------------------------------------

INTERVAL

-----------------------------------------------------

RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing

'C'ta all over the forest. They made friendship with

the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR SU-greev and his powerful co-processor

Ha-NEUMAN. SU-greev agreed to help RAM.SU-greev

ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful

'SEARCH'techniques to FIND themissing 'C'ta. His

PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all around INTER-NETworked

forests. Many tried to 'EXCITE' the birds and animals

not to forget the 'WEB CRAWLERS'(Insects) and tried to

SEEK'something about 'C'ta. Some of them even shouted

'YAA-HOO' but they all ended up with 'NO

FOUND'MESSAGES. Several other SEARCH techniques proved

useless. Ha-NEUMAN devised a RISKy TECHNOLOGY and

used it to cross the seas at an

astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED

himself into LAN-ka. After doing some local SEARCH,

HaNEUMAN found 'C'ta weeping under a TREE STRUCTURE.

Ha-NEUMAN used a LOGIN ID (ring) to identify

himself to 'C'ta. After DECRYPTING THE KEY, 'C'ta

believed in him and asked him to send a STATUS_OK

MESSAGE to RAM. Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS

around 'C'ta captured Ha-NEUMAN and tried to DELETE

him using pyro-techniques. But Ha-NEUMAN managed to

spread chaos by spreading the VIRUS 'Fire'.

Ha-NEUMAN happily pressed ESCAPE from LAN- ka and

conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev.

RAW-wan decided to take the all powerful RAM head-on

and prepared for the battle.One of the RAW-wan's SUN

(son) almost DELETED RAM & LSI-man with a powerful

brahma-astra. But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-X

gradients and REBOOTED RAM and LSI-man. RAM used the

SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and once for all wiped

out RAW-wan's presense on earth. After the battle, RAM

got INSTALLED in I/O- dhya and spreaded his MICROSOFT

WORKS and other USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS

Indians are Indians

2008-12-03T12:57:00.000-08:00

Once a English man came to India as a tourist.

He appointed a guide for him.First the guide took the man to Taj Mahal to show him the beauty of the monument.

The English man asked "how many years did it take to build this one". The guide replied "it took about 20 full years ".............."20 years!!" said the with a haughty voice and further said "our English men would have built in 10 yrs"......

The next day the guide took him to the 'Hawa Mahal' in Rajasthan....the English asked" how many years did it take to built this one".....

The guide replied "almost 10 years".................."10 years!!!" said the ,"our men would have built it in 5 yrs"....................

The Indian guide thought that this particular English @#*&!*&)# man is trying to insult the wonders and that's where our Indian Attitude plugs in............

The next day seeing the 'Qutub Minar' the English asked the same question..........the with astonishing look said " Oh my God.....this tower looks great it was'nt there yesterday"