Aisa apna husband ho

Aisa apna husband ho
6' - 6'2" jiski height ho
Jeans dheeli magar body tight ho
biwi ke har nakhre uthaye, itna mizaaj uska light ho
husband apna aisa bright ho.
uff tak na kare itna quiet ho
dinner banaye wo jab bhi romantic night ho
shopping kar ke jab bhi aoon, bole begum tum kitni nice ho
husband apna aisa bright ho.

mujhey rani bana kar rakhe, to phir zindagi delight ho
saas sasur ke samne kahe, jaan tum hamesha right ho
hamesha jo haar maan jaye jab bhi koi fight ho
husband apna aisa bright ho.

jahan chahoon jaoon, jo chahey karoon, kuch is tarah ki life ho
har doosre week ghoomne phirne ki flight ho
aisa ho jaye to mein udoon aasmaan mei, jaise ke koi kite ho
husband apna aisa bright ho !!!

Funny Divorce Letter

Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that
I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years
and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that
you had quit your job today and
that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't
even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,
cooked your favorite meal,
and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers
later that night.
You came home, nibbled at your food
for two minutes, and went straight to sleep
after watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't want sex anymore or anything.
Either you're cheating on me
or you don't love me.
Whichever is the case....I'm gone.

Signed,
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me.
Your sister and I are moving away
to West Virginia together. Have a great life!



Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more enjoyable
than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married
for seven years, although a 'good man'
is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant
whining and griping.
It's just too bad it doesn't work.

Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut
last week.....and actually the first thing
that came to my mind was
"You look just like a girl"
but my mother raised me not to say anything
at all if you can't say anything nice.
And when you cooked my favorite meal,
you must have gotten me confused with my
SISTER, because I stopped eating pork
seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had
those new silk boxers on because
the price tag was still on them.
I prayed that it was just a coincidence
that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars
from me that morning and your silk
boxers were $49.99...

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that
we could work it out.
So when I discovered that I had hit the
lotto for twenty million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii.
But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life
you've always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote,
you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed: Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this
but
my sister 'Carla'...was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem for you.

My Loving Wife

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he
decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally Typed
wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the
e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home
from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail,
expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed
into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer
screen which read:



To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Reached

Date: 8th Jan 2009

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now,
and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just
reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been
prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you
then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

Your Loving Husband.

Your Horse Called Up

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.


"What was that for?" the man asked.


The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Julie on it that I found in your pants pocket".


The man then said "When I was at the races last week Julie was the name of the horse I bet on"


The wife apologized and went on with the housework.


Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on thehead with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.


Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.


wife replied. "Your horse called up !!!!"

Software Engineer Husband & His Wife

Software engineer and his wife conversation

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.


Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.


Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.


Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where`s your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.


Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.


Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.


Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.


Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.


Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.


Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.


Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.


Wife - I will go to my dad`s house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.


Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.


Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.


Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer